The Life I Was Meant to Live
by killarri
Summary: This was my first published fic. It's a one shot from Mirai Bulma's point of view about her life and her counterpart's happiness.


AN: This is my first published fic, a little one-shot that I had to get out of my head.  I have three more stories in the works and I hope to have them up in the near future.  Anyway, this is from Mirai Bulma's point of view about her life.  It took me like an hour to write this so keep that in mind in your reviews.  Thanks, and enjoy!

For those of you who don't know, I wrote a B/V lemon to the song "If Walls Could Talk" by Celine Dion and posted it here and at MediaMiner.org.  The next day FF.net took it down saying it violated their guidelines.  I went through the guidelines page like 10 times and I still couldn't see what I did wrong so I e-mailed them.  After 2 e-mails, they wouldn't answer me so I edited and reposted the fic.  Well, the cancelled my account a few hours after I reposted it.  And I STILL don't see what I did wrong.  It was a tastefully done lemon, and I've seen stuff far racier on this site that gets to stay up.  But that's not even the point anymore.  Fine FF.net!  You win!  I don't know what I did wrong but rest assured I will not repost "If Walls Could Talk" on this account.  Just please don't do anything to this new account.  All I want to do is share my stories with the fanfiction community.

"The Life I Was Meant To Live"

By: Killarri

                I know I shouldn't be concentrating on the innumerable what ifs in life.  It only depresses me and makes my already miserable existence that much more miserable.  But at this point in my hard life, what ifs are all I have left.  I suppose I shouldn't say that.  I have my son, my only reason for living.  But he's older now, in his early twenties, and soon he'll find a nice girl and settle down.  What will I have then?  Nothing.  My life, in the beginning, was good.  Heir to the largest corporation in the world, I had wealth, power, intelligence, and good looks.  I had many friends who would give their lives for me in a second, as I would 

for them.  But I was missing something.  I didn't have love.  Sure I had Yamcha, but we never really loved each other.  It was more of a puppy love thing, not that soul-bound love.  Not the kind of love where you feel complete, as if part of you has been missing and only in your lover's arms you find contentment.  Then I found it, in the most unlikely source, Vegeta, the stubborn, proud, ill-tempered Saiyan Prince.  I never imagined in my wildest dreams that Vegeta would be the other half of my soul, but he was.  And I loved him.

                We had happiness, for a time.  For a brief couple of years, it seemed all my dreams had come true.  And then Son-Kun died.  And then, six months later, the androids attacked.  And my whole world came crashing down.  All my friends died, in the first battle against the androids.  Krillin, Yamcha, Tien, Choatzu, Picollo, all of them.  Gone.  In the blink of an eye.  

And then I lost Vegeta.

                Do you have any idea of the guilt weighing down my heart?  Even over twenty years later, I still cry thinking back to the last time that I saw him; remembering the hateful words that spewed from my mouth.  I let my soul mate, the one man I'd ever loved, die with those bitter curses.  I told him that I hated him, wished I'd never met him, all because I didn't want to lose him.  He had to fight.  There was no one else who stood a chance against the androids, and I knew that even then.  I don't really know why I blew up at him like that.  I was very emotional; I'd just lost all my friends and my parents and I was so scared of losing him too.  So he died with the last words between us being vile ones spit out in the heat of the moment, regretted as soon as they left my mouth, but I was too proud to take them back.  Now, I would give my life just to tell him how sorry I am, to be able to tell him how much I love him.

                I don't know where I got the idea for the time machine.  It just floated around in the back of my brain until I finally decided to try building it.  It was the only option left since all the fighters were dead except for my son and Gohan.  I couldn't accept the cruel hand fate had dealt me, so I worked tirelessly building it, hoping that it would make right all the wrong that had been done to us.  I was nervous as Trunks stepped into the cockpit and engaged the engines.  In theory, it would work, but in application, I didn't know.  As the machine disappeared into the air, I prayed that this would be the answer.

                And now?  In another time, another me is living the life I should have had.  She still has her husband, her best friend, and her son will grow up without fear.  While my life has changed for the better, it's still a bitter pill to swallow.  The androids are dead, by my son's hand, and life is finally regaining some normalcy, but I still don't have my hearts desire.  I wonder if the other me, in the time where Vegeta is still alive, thinks of me.  Does she thank me because her life isn't mine?  Because of my hard work her time was saved and all her family and friends still live?  I wonder what kind of father he is to his son.  My Vegeta never really took an interest in Trunks.  Hell, he only held him once and that was just after birth.  Does her Vegeta hold his son?  Take him to the park?  Has he ever told her he loved her?

                I need to stop doing this.  It's not healthy to brood on what could've happened or what should've.  I have to go on with my life until I can finally have peace.  When I meet Vegeta in otherworld, I hope I'll be able to tell him everything I've wanted to say since that night so long ago.  And then I'll finally have peace.  But until then, I'll try to keep my jealousy inside, because in another time, another place, another Bulma is living the life that I was meant to live.


End file.
